All around I see,
All sorts of happiness and smiles,
And though I should be happy;
I just cant catch up to those miles.

The green, the red the merrily
All are signs of such great things.
And normally my life would be
Just oh so filled with bliss.

Just last year I was content,
Now this 20 and 15 just feels like a miss.
How can it be that it sucked so hard?
All year round it drained all bliss.

Now I see the difference.
Last year we had so many presents,
And it's not about that of course,
But last year I just gave so much more.

I look around and I see couples
Lovey dovey as they should be,
But there in lies my question again
When will that be me?
This year just so many things went wrong
And though around this time its not about looking down.
I should look up,
I want to look up
But this year just held me down.

I felt a despair,
A pain in my heart,
Something no one could fix.
With a relative missing
It just couldn't be, it was jinxed

It did not feel like Christmas,
It felt much worse.
A day to buy things,
Instead it was just buying yourself.

I feel down and cant sleep.
And all I can think, is 
Please 20 and 16
Grant me this bliss.