The class soon ends, and being on the last row I find myself waiting for those in front to leave, I feel my stomach rumble and my hand is quick to hold it in hopes that it will quiet down. I feel my face blush and I can’t believe that I feel THIS hungry. It’s a feeling that I had not felt in a very long time.

Instantly I’m reminded of my past. I think of how Saul would sneak food in for me on the days when my Auntie and Uncle would punish me, but being the “good girl” that I was, I never ate it. I took my punishment with honor and would only eat when permitted.

They controlled what I ate and when, what I did and when, and where I was and when; they were the reason why I had gained so much weight. They would starve me all day or longer and then feed me huge portions and make me finish them. Soon, all the feelings of sadness begin to flow through my heart. What monsters would deny a child food? I catch myself making an angry sad face and I force myself to smile.

It’s finally my turn to go and I make plans to go to the snack station so that I may get food. I know I have 7 minutes between classes and if I go straight there and to class I will make it. As I walk, I see Michael, waiting by the door, I roll my eyes, let out a sigh, and walk straight through not even pausing to talk to him. I am able to take a few steps before he says “Hey, red! Hold up!”

I keep walking pretending that I don’t know that he is talking to me, and then he appears in front of me so quickly that I am unable to stop and bump into him. My hands on his chest, I push him away hoping that no one saw, secretly hoping that Jorge did not see. I look around and he says “Relax, I just want to talk” as he hold his hands up in the air.

I look at him sternly and continuing to walk I say “What do you want?”

Again he walks in front of me to stop me and says, “It’s not about what I want, it’s about what you need from me” he smirks and winks at me.

Annoyed that he wont get out of my way I reply, “If its about the notes, don’t worry about it, I’m a good student and I will catch up on my own” and then I reach for his shoulder and push him aside as I check my watch. Now I must go directly to science, another class I never attended the day before. Having wasted that time on him, now I didn’t have time to go get a snack. Annoyed I realize that now I must wait for lunch. I walk away, and he doesn’t follow me, my mood darkens, I know that as time passes by, it is inevitable that I WILL get hangry. Angry VERY easily because I am hungry.

As I’m walking to science class I hear a faint whimper, I’m honestly surprised I heard it. I look around and I can’t figure out where it’s coming from. After looking around I see nothing, I stop myself and wonder ‘Whhat? If someone IS crying why is it that THIS time I care.’ I start walking towards my class again and I hear it clearer this time. I’m heading towards it and rather than take a different route, (which is what I would normally do) I feel the need to keep walking. Something is pulling me to this person.

I turn the corner and its the garden the school has for us to grow our own produce for lunch. really most students use it as a make out area. I walk through the entrance and I hear the noise coming from a… wall. I look right and then left and see no way to go in, so I stick out my hand in the shrubbery and walk forward. I am able to go inside, this wasn’t a wall. It was just vines.

Inside I see this African American girl, sitting down and crying. Before I am able to make my presence heard, I hear her say “Why ma? Why couldn’t you just be a good person..” I walk forward and trip on a vine. I catch myself and she quickly turns away and wipes her tears. She snaps at me and says “What are you doing here?”

I say “I’m sorry I was just… was wondering around and bumped into this place,… are you ok? I heard you crying and I thou…” “YES, I am fine…” She cuts me off and she grabs her stuff and walks towards me. I look down and get out of her way and feel useless. For whatever reason her sadness, got to me. She was tall and very beautiful, her skin reminded me of regular coffee with one mini cup of cream in it. Just pure and sweet. Though even in her sharpness she was still beautiful.

I stay in there, something in this place just holds me here, I stop feeling my breath and stop feeling my hands. I go numb and feel weak. I wobble, something in here is holding me there and I feel myself struggle to leave. Slowly I take steps to get out and even though I am struggling I feel that I’m doing okay, it’s hard but I’m getting away. I finally get out and the bell rings. I am able to run to my next class just as he is about to close the door. I am supposed to be in my science class, with Mr. Bucanon, but I see a woman inside. Maybe a substitute? I ask if this is Mr. Bucanon’s class and she replies that the change was made yesterday, his class would be in room 1201 not 1102. So I calmly ask her for a pass, explaining to her that I was not able to attend class the day before and I go. As I’m about to go inside my actual class, a hand grabs my hand and yanks me to the left.

I think to myself ‘why is it that people keep grabbing me?!’