I walk through the front door and say “I’m home Saul!” No one answers. I think to myself ‘Well it is Tuesday, maybe he went shopping?’ I decide to make myself a snack, peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk. I close the knife drawer with my hip, and a shooting pain rushes through my leg. I yelp, and start to breath in agony. I put the knife down and grab my hip. I expose my hip to find that I am bruised and its purple and green. I get reminded of the last time I had this color bruising… back when I was with my aunt and uncle. My face goes numb and I know what to do. I leave my sandwich and go get the first aide kit. I grab some Gauss and wrap my waist and hip with it. I put water on the stove to boil, get a rag and dip it in the boiling hot water and set it to slightly cool to where I could put it on my skin. It burned, it hurt, tears flowed; but I knew from past experiences that now I would be fine.

I thought back to how I got the bruise, and remembered Jorge. I feel myself blush. Then I’m reminded of Michael… the boy with the orange who fought off a monster bullfrog… who followed me today. I shake my head and realize maybe I just had an episode and that really didn’t happen? Monsters and heroes, powers? No it was too ridiculous.

I ate my PB&J, drank my milk and got ready for bed. Not 5 minutes in bed and I fall asleep.

The next day, the third day, I went invisible. No one noticed me. The girls who I had interacted with left me alone and I didn’t see Jorge. I went home, I didn’t see Saul, ate a snack, did homework and went to sleep.

The rest of the week went well, everyday that ended uneventful, I just went about my day. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Finally Friday. I look for Saul as soon as I get home and don’t find him. I get frustrated, he hasn’t been here for me lately. But, I shrug and feel proud that I have been able to take care of myself. I decide to go out, my own personal secret.

The next morning I wake up slowly and take a deep breath. I smell nothing. I get up and change to day clothes and walk to the kitchen, expecting to see Saul; but there is no one there. I wait around for the only adult I really trust and know, Saul, the person I consider to be my father figure. The person I care about the most, where is he? I think back to the last time I saw him and realize that its been a few days… A sense of panic sets in. How could I not see it, how did this pass by me, how could I not know?! I sit in bed, stuck.

For that moment I am frozen, stuck in an seemingly endless cycle of my past memories. I feel cold, its raining. I look at my hand and its cold because I was touching the car window. We are driving to the cabin, such a happy place. I am 10 years old, we have been coming here since I could remember, as early as five.

I still remember my fifth birthday, just me, mom and dad. We lived in a neighborhood where it was nice, every one was nice to me. I loved it there. Then, all out of the blue we moved, everything changed, life changed.

We moved to a house that was smaller, dad no longer stayed with mom like he used to. Mom always said “Dad went to work darling.” While he was away, Saul would come and stay with us. Mom gave me singing lessons and I always got the songs right, sometimes even before she would teach it to me. I can still remember her happy loving face.

I wish I could remember when I first started to see Saul around, but I was just a baby. Mom and dad tried to keep a lot of old belongings away from me. But just once, I went into that room and saw Uncle Saul carrying me as a baby, smiling, holding me with my parents in the background. They looked weird but very happy.

The long drive that awful night gave me such a wonderful opportunity to really think back and solidify my memories of the really beautiful moments I had up until that point with my parents. Some big news had occurred, Mom was pregnant. She was surprised, maybe even a little appalled that she was pregnant. I remember asking her if “I was going to have a sibling?” She asked me “why?” I replied, “because momma, I want to be a big sister to a baby brother.” She looked at me and smiled sweetly, she got up and made a call as I left to play in my room. Next thing I knew we were coming to the cabin as a surprise visit.