At first everything was fine, we unpacked what we brought, we made the beds, I set up my baby brother’s room. The feeling in the room was happy, joyful, and… Saul was…there? Ha. ha. ha. No. Saul isn’t there, but because of this day I really got to meet him for the first time. Then, the storm hit. Such a weird moment. Everything a blur. I remember putting my brother to sleep, I remember looking at his cute little face thinking that “I can’t wait to talk to you.” I remember feeling frightened, and hiding under my blankets. Seeing flashes of light. One right after the other. And the little rocks hitting the cabin. Then.

Then I remember feeling a sense of calmness. I walk out of bed towards the window and I see such a beautiful red and magenta to orange light coming from the woods. Next thing I knew, I was outside in front of it. A tree fallen over, embers everywhere and a fire thriving. I remember reaching out my hand, almost playing with the soft little fires. They tickled my fingers, I remember carrying one and feeling its little heartbeat. Then the boom and things go dark fast.

I wake up to my aunt crying to the officers. My uncle yelling at the officers to find him, you must find him. I get up and walk towards the commotion, I can’t see. I wipe my eyes, and when I open them I see red and blue flashes of lights. I cover my face and walk towards the cabin. An officer sees me and he yells “medic!” I get lifted and they say “what happened?” The medic starts his check up, and I try to grab her hands to make her stop, I ask again “what happened? what happened?! WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?” almost screeching at the medic.

She walks away and comes back with my aunt. She says, “Oh, Magenta!” She hugs me. “How are you dear? Are you all right? We were both so worried about you.” She lets me go. I look to her confused. “Yes Auntie, of course I’m alright. Auntie… what happened?” She backs away, surprised. She walks away, I get up and head to the cabin. I look and look, I think ‘where is it? Where? Is? It?’ I begin to call out, “Momma! Pappa!”

Silence. Everything stops, it all goes quiet. At that moment I knew they were gone, in that moment I felt this blame on myself, I felt responsible for not being where I was supposed to be. This was all my fault. I began to cry, I stood there and I cried. I heard the officer say that they found the bodies of the mother and father only. I thought ‘…only…? ONLY??’ I run through the ashes to where my baby brother was. The fire fighters catch up to me and lift me yelling, “Wait! It’s still too hot!” I yell “But… my BABY BROTHER!”

They bring me back to my aunt and uncle. They ask my aunt and uncle “Is there also a baby that was on the premises?” They both look at each other confused and say in unison, “Baby!?” My Aunt continues, “They didn’t have a baby, we saw them just about a month ago, they didn’t have a baby.” I watched her lie, my dad talked to her everyday, how could she not know. I grew angry on the inside and yelled, “I do have a baby brother! I do!” They left me with a police officer, and they talked, and talked, and talked.

I remember feeling and thinking “I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I have a brother, I d… have a brother, I do… have a brother, I don… have a brother… I don’t have a brother?”

I ended up living with my aunt and uncle. At first I really think they tried to love me. Love me like one of their own they would tell me. Always distinguishing that I wasn’t really one of them. But after failed attempts to convince them that I did have a baby brother, they began to punish me. Maybe it felt good to them to do that to me, but what ever the reason it didn’t stop there.

After the funeral, they read my parents will. That’s when Saul came to live with us. He was our servant, he introduced himself to me. I almost spoke “I’ve met you before”, but my aunt cut me off and said “I know that so long as we care for dear Magenta, we will be able to use her parents finances to provide her the lifestyle dictated in their will. My poor sister-in-law, my poor brother-in-law, but alas here we are Saul. We accept your services as dictated by the will, but understand that if you cross us, we can always live without Magenta…”

My heads looks down, I felt such a shock, to my core. I lost all sense of myself, I felt destroyed. I lost my mom, and my dad! I felt as if I was going crazy because I remembered my brother, his scent, his little hand, and yet, he didn’t exist.

She continues “I mean without Magenta’s parent’s money. We love Magenta, but we don’t know you. We don’t live like this. My husband chose to bring her in because she is HIS brother’s daughter. Me? I have a connection with Magenta that isn’t a mother’s role, because I could never be her mother. But I care about her well-being, so I am invested in raising her as a proper young woman who knows her place. And you wont interfere with that.”