After that day I went numb, I wouldn’t do anything, I just couldn’t…. I wouldn’t talk, or respond, it made them upset and I couldn’t care because I couldn’t feel anything. Why was I alive? Why were my parents taken from me? Why couldn’t I accept that my brother was a figment of my imagination? How could life change so much for me? Why am I surrounded by people who don’t care about me? Oh…

That’s right, because it’s my fault they’re gone. I don’t remember what happened, those memories lost since that very first day. But I do remember that I felt guilty, a guilt so heavy that even then, I knew it meant I was bad. I must have felt that way for a reason. This was my penance, and Saul more than anyone knew how bad it got. It was he who found me the day I almost died. He knew something was wrong with me and told my guardians about it, but they were fed up with the chaos that was me. They simply replied, “If you think she is sick, then you may take the motorcycle, add the companion seat, put gas in it, and take her to the hospital yourself.”

As soon as he came back to my room he put a sweater and coat on me, carried me to the motorcycle and sat me in the buddy seat. I remembered thinking ‘Why are you doing this? Just let me go, I want to see my family again.’

I remember his frantic state, and the gentleness of his care for me. I felt for him, he was acting in vain. He asked me over and over if I was okay? By the 10th time I finally grunted to sign ‘yes’. We made it to the hospital and they took care of me. I ended up getting pneumonia, and if I would have arrived any later I would have died or been mentally damaged. The doctors took Saul aside, they talked. It seemed like an agreement of some kind, and then my guardians came. The nurse asked me some questions and I couldn’t answer. I was still numb.

My aunt entered my room, and exclaimed “Oh, Magenta! You’re all right!”. She hugged me, the same way as the first time when I was being taken care of, the day of my parents death. I realized, ‘Since then? Since then you didn’t like me? Since then you didn’t want me? You are a monster.’ I looked at her with contempt. But, as soon as she looked my way I put my face down.

A police officer came in and asked the nurse, “Ma’am is the man who brought her here still on the premises? We need to ask him a few questions.” The nurse said “Yes” as she should have and walked out of the room to show him where last she saw him. My aunt let go of me and she smirked. I looked up at her, to this day I don’t know why, why she told me what she told me? Did she think I was too far gone to do something about it?

She stood up and mumbled to herself, “He messed up, finally I can get rid of him. Once he is gone I can finally do away with this burden” she faces and looks to me “and move on with our lives.” I just thought to myself ‘So this is how I finally get to die.’ Then I heard the commotion outside of the door, a mumbled voice. My aunt goes to the door and goes outside, but doesn’t close the door all the way. I hear Saul very clearly, “I didn’t kidnap Magenta! I was given permission from madam to take her to the hospital!”

I could hear the officer say, “Sir you have the right to remain silent,…” Saul made eye contact with me and calmed down. He smiled and left willingly with the officer. I felt the injustice, I realized this wasn’t my punishment, this was their cruelty. I sat there wondering ‘What should I do?…. Wait…

I want to do something? I can’t just let this happen. He didn’t lie, and cops were good people, so why did they think that Saul had kidnapped me??’ Then I remembered her comment, and realized what she had done.

I needed to do something, but what could I do. I brought my knees to my face and felt defeated. I needed to make this right. So I did the only thing I could think of, I chose to threaten my aunt to free Saul. I called for the nurse and she came in with an officer. She finished her check up, and I started to respond, answering her questions. Finally it was the cops turn to ask.

Her first question, “Did the servant Saul kidnap you?” I was shocked, I looked at her confused. Then it came to me, this is my chance! I replied “What? No! Saul didn’t kidnap me. I don’t remember if he asked for permission from me, but I was unconscious. I was sick and disoriented that I couldn’t even respond. He saved my life! Please don’t punish Saul for saving my life, when my aunt and uncle did nothing to help me.”

She then asked, “Do your guardians normally ignore you when you get sick?” I said “Yes, because they don’t want to get sick too. So they always have Saul care for me on top of everything else he does for our family. Sometimes it gets overwhelming for him…” I start to cry, realizing how much he truly cared and tried for me, “but he always makes time for me, not like them.” I respond almost hissing in anger, through my tears.