My next class was math. I loved math. Growing up I was taught many different languages, but in math everything was always easier. I could learn it in English and completely be in a daze as the teachers tried to teach it to me in another language. I could choose not to care, because I already knew what I had to do.

Walking towards my math class I noticed the same girls from the bus ride to school, and thought of course they would go here. This time, however, I did not see the girl they had picked on. I thought maybe she decided to go home or simply that she was in another class. As I entered my class, I looked around and sure enough there she was, I should have guessed that a girl like that wouldn’t be too far away from her so-called friends. There she was in the back, looking nervous as she tried to explain to some students that the seats they wanted were already taken. The group of students began with the usual “you can’t save seats”, and “where are their stuff if they are here?” Not wanting to get involved with another problem, I sat two seats in front of her; one of the only seats available and away from all the chaos. After the bell rang and the teacher walked in. The girls came inside a while later and told the teacher that they were in the restroom but that they were already here before the bell rang, and simply created lie after lie and excuse after excuse. The teacher, not wanting to deal with this issue much further than what it had taken, asked for their names with all seeming intents on sending them somewhere else, but as soon as she heard their names she seemed to get nervous and just told them to sit down.

Watching them walk up the rows of seats, I overheard one of the students say “so that’s her” and another student reply “yea has to be, no one else could make a teacher that nervous”. Fighting my curiosity, I took a closer look at those girls and could very well see that they were some of the more wealthier students. The main girl had on some Gucci, and Michael Korhs, but even then I knew that I had more. Not that it mattered but when in doubt I knew I could put her in her place if it ever came to it.

The group finally sat down, and the teacher began to explain the rules and expectations of the class. She concluded with “…and that’s the whole spiel”. She explained that if we started class today with a lesson that we would be able to get ahead from the rest of the other classes, something that she made very clear she wanted to do. So she picked a random person and asked if we should start today. At first I thought she chose me, but very quickly realized that she picked the girl two seats behind me. At first, her eyes filled with inspiration, then filled with nervousness as she looked around to her so-called friends. She was able to mutter that it would be great if we could get ahead.

The teacher unable to hear her very well asked her to speak louder, which the girl wasn’t able to hear because she was distracted by the mutters of her friends telling her to tell the teacher no, to start later. “Miss El…” the teacher began and was interrupted with the girl saying “no lets… lets just start on another day”. The girl looked down and seemed disappointed at herself.

Then I got up and spoke up, “no, lets start now”. The teacher asked “excuse me?” And I continued “she said that we should start today, but then her friends told her to say something else,” so I looked at them “and I agree with her first response. We should start today, its obvious you want to and she wants to and even I want to. We are in the special class for a reason, we should have the mentality of wanting to get things done as fast as possible and being the winners should be our motto.” Everyone began to get riled up, and gave their yea’s in agreement and vigor.

Once again that thought came in my head, I would no longer be invisible in this classroom. I had shown some of my colors and they caught like fire. I quickly sat down and the teacher took control and excitedly  said “then lets get started”. She proceeded by testing us with a quiz from the first chapter of our book. I finished it rather fast, and while feeling proud of myself I couldn’t help but overhear those same girls telling the thinner girl that since it was her idea to make the class start today with a lesson, then she should give them the answers. She meekly replied “but that would be cheating” and the girls insisted. Once again without thinking and without hesitation I told the girls “shut up!”. The whole class turned around and I continued “if you girls really belonged here then you wouldn’t need to cheat off of her”. I could feel their eyes grow in disbelief and the rest of the class’ eyes on me.

I quickly turned away and began to walk, but before I could take my second step I felt a pull on my arm and I turned back to face him. Because of the force of the pull and my lack of balance for being mid-step, I leaned in close and he held me tight, right there in the middle of  a group of onlooking students. I looked up once more and he looked down at me, I could see him blushing too. We separated and acted as if all was fine and the people around us continued to their classes. He asked me if I was ok, and I said yes, even though my wrist was hurting, and I began to walk backwards telling him thank you for the help and that I had to go.

So innocent that first encounter was, so full of wondrous excitement. My life now holds days like that as days that are too quiet because of the malice in this world. As I sighed and took a nice deep breath I walked across some stones that cross the grass from one side of the courtyard to the other. As I got to the middle of the pathway, a young girl hopped her way into the block I was going to step on. Our pathways leading us in contradictory ways I stopped and so did she. Quickly she asked in Spanish if I was lost. Having been taught at a very young age the importance of knowing many languages, I was able to respond in Spanish that no I wasn’t. She asked to see my schedule and before I could answer to her request she took it from my hand and looked at it.

Before I could make an attempt to take the schedule back, she grinned and gave it back to me. A bit annoyed I asked why she was smiling, and very cheerfully she replied that we had most if not all our classes right next to each other. Unintentionally rolling my eyes with a disgruntled facade, that I am sure she noticed. She looked to her side as if contemplating whether to do something or not, and then looked back at me and said if you’re going to physical education then you are going the wrong way. Not wanting to seem unappreciative, I acted surprised and said that a girl had told me that the way to PE was this way.

With an understanding look in her face, she smiled so sweetly and said lets go. I followed her and for the short few minutes that we walked together we talked. And the way in which we talked to each other felt like if we were best friends from a lifetime ago. Not wanting for things to go any further, I decided that I would not try and befriend her. I didn’t want to hurt her. For the entire class I tried to get away from her, though it did not help that she was in the same class as me, I really tried. She followed me like a lost puppy. She seemed to understand what the class was doing, so the possibility that I would need to stay near her to translate seemed fairly low. After going into the locker room to change out, she dashed towards me and asked if I would like to be friends. Right away I told her no, and as she she asked me why, I simply said that friendships were pointless. Seeing the look in her face hurt me more than any of my last attempts to avoid friendships. It moved m, it compelled me to try to explain why I thought friendships were pointless, but before I could finish she exclaimed that friendships with someone like me would be pointless. Realizing what she had said, she gave a shocked face. It was obvious that she was surprised something like that had come out of her; and slowly with a heavy heart I said, maybe it was true and walked away.

Not realizing that the bell had not rang yet, I continued walking and thought about what that girl said. But, more importantly, why it had really affected me? Was it that it was high school? A semi-prestigious school? Just this girl in general? I didn’t know, I still don’t know; but as I looked forward I saw a map of the school on the side of the building wall. This school knew that its students wouldn’t be able to maneuver through with a map at hand so they set many of them up on the walls for easy access. Mapping out my classes I now knew where to go and and continued on. Hearing that a supervisor was around the corner, I decided to stay in the bathroom until the bell rang.

Once the bell finally rang I left the girls restroom and began heading towards class. I kept getting this feeling that someone was watching me. That someone was following me, and stupidly I shrugged it off thinking it was the campus security cameras doing their thing. I never would have thought that maybe it was something much more unpredictable. And unpredictable it was.

Today was the first day. It was supposed to be the first day, and I never knew how or why it ended up ending so badly. My name is Magenta and this is the beginning of when it all went wrong. But, that is my opinion.

It was on September 27, 2004 when I had just transferred from a school in northern California to southern California hoping to find a new start with a similar environment. I was only 14 years old and already I was living on my own. My parents had passed away along with my younger brother in a horrible cabin fire accident 5 years ago. Luckily, after spending 3 years with some people who pretended to be my family, I was able to become an adult in the eyes of the court and be free to make my own choices. Today is the first day of school, I am a freshman in highschool at a new school, in a new city and I am scared. I don’t know anyone and I do not wish to get to know anyone, because it’s pointless.

I woke up late that day and rushed out the door. As I got on to the city bus, I saw two elderly women get off the bus walking away, laughing, simply reminiscing about a simpler time. The bus started and I turned forward, and thought that maybe this year, this set of people would be different than before. I turned to look out the window and a bouquet of red fire looking roses caught my eye. They were beautiful. As the bus came to another stop I saw a group of 4 girls poking fun at a fifth brunette, glasses wearing, slender girl. It made me upset, and thought no, this year will not be different. All of these people are the same.

I had made the mistake of making friends before and maybe it’s because we were children and they were so naive, that maybe leaving me behind wasn’t their fault. Nevertheless, I know that psychologically it has scarred me and I don’t wish to try anymore. No one ever truly remembers those middle school days when children are testing out who they should become, but I do. Those daily trials that I constantly failed at, the humiliating days that I suffered because of girls who didn’t want to understand and boys who had nothing better to do. I was better off alone then and I am better off alone now.

The bus came to a stop and I stepped off. Only two blocks away from the school, almost a 48 minute commute so that I could attend this school with enough pretense so as to not stay longer at the end of the school day. That first day I had the sensation that I was being watched, and I though I turned my head and saw nothing, the next few times I simply ignored it. I walked unto campus, a very nice semi-prestigious school, that still enforced the uniform policy. Something I hoped would help me stay invisible and finish school without any problem. I made my way to the office and talked to a secretary about my paperwork and schedule. She was rude, or maybe on edge since many things were supposively going wrong. I took my schedule and left before she realized I had knocked over a plant because she shoved me out of her way.

Maybe if I would have stayed and received a map like all new students get, none of this would have happened, but that wasn’t the case. I walked outside, first bell had rung and I hurried my pace to get to my first classroom that I had no idea where it was. That’s when I saw him. Well more like that’s when I bumped into him, as I fell backwards on my butt, I looked up. Because of the positioning of where he stood and where I sat, he seemed angelic. The sun glowing behind him, I couldn’t help but notice all of his features. He was taller than me, had dark brown hair, a slightly visible jawline, and a very straight nose; the straightest nose I had ever seen. He had light brown eyes, and was kind of tan. It felt like I was gawking at him for the longest moment in all of my life up until that point.

As he reached out his hand to help me, I could see his lips moving. I felt myself do a weird face not understanding what was going on and realized as I reached out to him that he was saying something to me. As he pulled me up I quite loudly asked what?! It surprised him and as I looked around, the idea that I would be invisible this year shattered like glass. I looked back at him and apologized, all the while trying to stop myself from blushing the beat red color I know my face to get.