I thought about how he helped me the first time and of how now, I felt disappointed. He didn’t have to help me, but because of how nice he was…, I guess I expected to much. Struggling, I was able to stand and I debated on whether I should go to the nurses office… across campus… or just stay here to be discovered by a supervisor so that they could help me. While I waited to make up my mind I thought about the crazy day I was having. What did I do in a past life to merit so much pain and awkwardness on this first day of school for me?

After waiting a few minutes, all the students were now in class, I decided to try. After trying to walk and only managing to limp, I stopped to massage my thigh. After straightening myself out I felt an arm around my back and another scooping me up. Immediately my mind raced to the monster and that guy who saved me, so I instinctively went to punch whoever it was in the face, but he let go of my legs held me close, my feet dangling over the ground and stopped my punch. I couldn’t believe it, it was him!

At first he just held my right sprained wrist in his hand and held me up with his other arm. I look at him confused, and then I notice our situation and try to use my free arm to push him away and then struggle to push my right arm as well. Which turned out to be a bad idea and I let out a meek “augh”.

He lets me go, and using my leg that doesn’t hurt I hold my balance and I just look at him. He faces me and then looks away. I hop to meet his gaze and blushingly he looks at me. I feel my heart almost melt. I begin to feel a warm sensation and quickly snap out of it as his eyes remind me that he let me fall. I look down-left towards the ground and limp towards my things. I can feel him looking at me and then realizing what I am doing he darts towards my things and says “let me help you”.

I look at him with confused squinted eyes and respond “I appreciate your help this morning, and your lack of help with the stairs, but I don’t need your help”.

I grab my stuff and attempt to put my backpack on. He grabs it at mid-swing and holds it. He smoothly says “I wasn’t asking”.

He swipes my backpack down, and lunges it over his shoulder. He steps in close and I lean back. My strong leg in front and the weak one in the back I think ‘oh shit’, as I loose my balance. He maneuvers his arms around me and just as quickly scoops me up bridal style and says “I’m taking you to the nurses office”.

As he begins to walk with me in his arms, a very weak wind blows through and the few leaves that remain on the dried up trees fall. I look up at him and I see his hair flow. I grab my skirt to hold it down. I take a deep breath to calm myself from this crazy day and I smell him. I look around and there aren’t a lot of people out and about. The thought crosses my mind that maybe he doesn’t want to be noticed either. Looking at him I think maybe that’s why when I reached out for help he stopped himself. I turn my head forwards in the direction we are heading and I see our reflection on the doors of a hallway we need to cross to get to the other side of campus. We look… perfect. The image changes a bit and all of a sudden I’m in a white dress and he is in a tux. Shocked and embarrassed that this thought came into my mind out of no where, I turn back to align my head with my body and close my eyes.

I can hear his heartbeat, I can smell him, I feel his arms wrapping me. It’s too much comfort in one blow that slowly I fall asleep!

I open my eyes but I’m not in school anymore, the thought of being in school makes no sense. I’m in the forest, I have seen this forest before. I walk thru some trees and I find a cabin. My heart sinks. I know this cabin. I don’t want to go into that cabin. My heart hurts and I begin to tear up. Then like a miracle the sun comes up. I hear my name, “come here!”

I begin to walk towards the words. “Dinner is ready, come eat”.

 

 

I walked towards the Language building in this school, but noticed that everyone else was leisurely going about heading towards the cafeteria. I looked around and it dawns on me, its lunch time! After the whole escapade, time had passed and it was now lunch time. I looked at the bell schedule and sure enough 3rd period and 4th period were over!

How could this be? I walked towards the cafeteria, and not paying attention to where I was going, I bump into this very tall, athletic African-American girl. I quickly apologize and look at her face. She had the smoothest almost caramel colored complexion I had ever seen. Gawking at her I muttered “wow you are very pretty”.

She “tsh”s at me and turns back around and ignores me. Right away my attitude changes and I go around her and continue on my way. Finally in line for food, I start feeling proud of myself for not becoming too noticeable today. Then that thought quickly decimates, as i realize that I hadn’t been doing a good job at keeping a low profile. First, I bump into that boy; whose name I don’t know; then I almost befriend that blue girl, then I get attacked and I’m saved by a mysterious boy, and lastly, just now I bump into a beautiful black wavy haired girl.

I get to the front of the line and get my food, I go outside and sit in the middle of the quad perfectly visible in case anything happens, and perfectly invisible to everyone else who are just focusing on their group conversations.

I begin to munch on my cheeseburger and nearly gag. I look down and notice that the burger has pickles. I very modestly spit out the piece I bit and open my burger to take out the pickles. I take another bite and I just can’t bring myself to eat it. The taste of pickle is too much. So I drink my milk and eat my carrots with ranch. When I’m done I get up to walk around and listen to different conversations. Since I am still a nobody, no one should pay too much attention to me walking around and eavesdropping.

“So she did do it?!” girl 1.

“Totes did! I cant believe how big of a slut she is!” girl 2

“Well heres hoping she gets pregnant and you become home coming queen!” girl 3

The bell rings, I get up and the girls get startled. I guess they didn’t realize I was here. But as soon as they see that I’m the new girl, their shocked faces turn to whatever faces and they get up and go. All I can think to myself is trivial, stupid and trivial. They worry about things that wont matter in the future. With my map in hand I make way to history class. I look around and there are some fun-loving people here at the school. People playing sports like soccer, girls already forming study groups and exchanging numbers. It feels like everyone has someplace were they fit in and are welcomed. But not me.

As I begin to ascend the stairs I hear a commotion and as I continue to climb, someone yells “watch out!”

I turn around and I see a soccer ball coming towards me. I maneuver myself quickly and do a high round kick to kick the ball back to the boys playing soccer. Once again eyes are on me. I make a full turn to continue my path up the stairs, only to slip on someone’s uneaten cheeseburger. As my right foot slides to the left, my body unable to balance itself begins to fall to the right. This time there is no one to catch me. I hit my hip on the edge of the stair I was on and as I’m about to roll down the 5 stairs that I climbed I am stopped by some legs. Now on my back facing up, with my shirt twisted and my skirt raised to expose my bruised outer thigh, I look up and I can’t believe my freaken luck. It’s the guy from this morning, the one who i bumped into. Without moving, for fear of me rolling down, he bent over a little, our eyes met and asked “are you ok?”

Gruntingly I responded ” yes I’m ok” and extended my hand so that he could help me get up. And for a split second it looked as if he was going to reach down to grab it, but then he stepped over me and continued to go up the stairs. Once he moved the only leg holding me up, with a shocked face I looked down at the stairs and rolled down. I rotated 2 times and hit the floor landing on my bruised side. I couldn’t help but groan in pain, and using the momentum I sat up. I held my thigh and as he turned to continue upstairs he looked at me and I looked at him.

 

 

 

“Leave her alone and face me Bullfrog!”

I turn to see where that voice is coming from. I look up and I am blinded by a light reflected from a window nearby and I raise my hand to shield my eyes. I can make out a figure… jumping from the building? And soon I hear those words again. “I said leave her alone and face me Bullfrog!”

I wipe the tears from my eyes and look at this person in front of me. Yes, he is a person, and he is helping me. It’s a he… and he looks like that guy from before… I batter my eyes and take a better look. It’s not that guy from before, he’s not wearing the uniform. I examine him as much as I am able to, and I can feel my eyes going fuzzy. Why is he holding…an orange!?  I hear Bullfrog yell “you got lucky girl!”

And then disappears. I cant believe this wacko holding an orange was able to save my life. Soon my body is engulfed with fear. If that scary looking Bullfrog thing was scared of this guy then… maybe I should be worried too! What if they were fighting because I am food!? As the mysterious man chased after bullfrog by leaping to the top of the building, I make sure to grab my things. But, no later than having my things ready to go; this guy came back to the spot where he was, facing where I no longer was. I quietly sneak away and think to myself why is he is still holding that stupid orange?

No sooner had I finished my thought, he turned around and asked “are you all right?”

I stopped, and before I could turn around to give him my thanks he continues “and its not an orange for your information, it’s a ball of fi…”.

I couldn’t help but whimper a little and run away. How did he know that I was thinking that? How could he possibly know!? I could hear him say “hey wait!… do you know a girl nam…..?”

I didn’t slow down to hear the rest because I felt that he was trying to reach me. I finally reached the other side of this gigantic school and went inside of the girls restroom. Finally at peace, and with no foreseeable danger nearby I took a deep breath and carefully set my backpack on a hook and proceeded to take off my shirt. It was a bloody mess.

Luckily I always carried a spare after the countless incidents I had in my other school. Before taking it out of my backpack I walked towards the mirror and rinsed my face with water to clear the blood and sweat off of my eyes. As I patted my face dry, I noticed a figure at the window and quickly turned around. There was no one there. I turned back facing the mirror and closed my eyes recollecting and examining the events that had just transpired.

Then getting the feeling of being watched but oddly enough not the feeling of being in danger, I turned around and looked again and heard… mumbles? No, not mumbles lyrics to some old song? It had a very soothing melody and I found myself singing along to it. I guess I started singing louder or something because as soon as I did the voice stopped and listened. Once I didn’t hear the song I stopped too and that feeling of being watched went away. I turned to the mirror and started to carefully wipe away the blood from my other wounds.

After the first wipe, I noticed there was no scar, no scratch, no sign of anything wrong! How could this be?! What the hell is going on?! How could I get attacked? How could no one notice? How could I feel so close to death only to show that nothing was wrong with me?! Could it all have been in my head? Am I loosing my mind? I turned to my backpack to get my new shirt and on the sink I notice the blood stained shirt and lunged for it. This all did happen. I held the sullen shirt in my hand, this is the proof.

Something wierd is going on at this school and I’m not sure that I want to stay enrolled to find out what it is. As I took out my new shirt I put the stained one in my backpack. Staring at my shirt the events kept racing through my mind. Why wasn’t I as freaked out? Most people wouldn’t have snapped out of it and fought, I think that most would have been too scared to do anything. So why did I? I had never seen myself as courageous or brave, and yet I fought to live. I heard the bell rang and quickly put on my shirt and walked out as calmly as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

Once the teacher realized what was going on, she called me over to her and I told her. She still told me to take my test and go outside. I told her that I was done, so I went to take my things and dropped the test off at her desk, and walked away. Before I walked out the door she said to sit at the bench closest to the door and wait for her.

I didn’t understand why she had asked me to go outside, I guess those girls really did have some power in this school. When I walked to the bench I noticed that it was dirty and I felt a sensation that I had been feeling before. I decided to wait nearby at another bench and the sensation that I was being watched hit me again.

As I walked towards the other bench I felt that feeling get stronger. I was being watched. I ignored the sensation again, and as I walked I took out my book. I tried to find my book in my backpack an when I found it I tried to see where I was in my book, but the sensation that I was being watched just grew more and more.

With out any provocation I dropped my  book, and I as I bent over to pick it up I saw a shadow of a person raising its arms and it… had horns!? Instinctively I ducked down to grab my book and then lunged myself forwards attempting to do a one-handed front flip. Which failed because my hand was sprained. I ended up rolling forward instead and was able to use the momentum to pick myself up. As soon as I was up I was shocked to see what was in front of me, but I shook my head and looked at this thing straight on and said “Wh…what are you?! And what do you want?!” No sooner did I finish my question that this reptile humanoid thing lunged at me and yelled “Prove yourself!”

I could see that his hands had claws and that they were sharp, scared for my life I did my best to dodge all of his swings. He slashed, I dodged, he said “and I will.” He slashed again, and I dodged again and he said “answer you!” He slashed again and I went for the front flip again only this time using my other hand and I made it. He frustratingly admits “seeing as you have dodged all of my assaults I claim you as worthy.” He seemed calm.

Then like a snake he lunged again. I turned to get away but it was too late. He slashed my back and I fell and whimpered in pain. Meekly I asked “who are you? What do you want from me?!” Calmly he came closer to me and I tried to crawl away. He grabbed me by the collar and as he picked me up he said “I, am Bullfrog.” He slashed my chest and he leans in close to my ears, and as I close my eyes he says, “and I need your flesh.” I felt him about to do something worse to me, and then I made up my mind that no he is not!

I opened my eyes and I kneed him with all my might. I don’t know where that strength came from or where my hit landed, but he dropped me and I ran away as fast as I could. In the distance I could hear him say “you will pay for that you bitch!”  I managed to go to an alley between two buildings in my school, I held my breath so as to make no noise. And soon after I saw him pass. I begin to frantically think that this encounter was really close, who what and why was this thing after me? What did he mean by flesh?! Like did he want to eat me!? How is it that no one has said or come to do anything about this!? In the middle of two buildings inside of school property and no one has come out to see this situation!? How is this possible?? My mind racing with all sorts of questions, and my body acting out all of my frustration. I had completely forgotten that I was badly wounded, and that I had stepped on a branch from one of the trees growing nearby.

It wasn’t until Bullfrog stepped on a branch and cracked it, that I whispered oh no and turned around to see him there. I turned back to run knowing too well that I had no place to go. And he got me. He smacked me so hard I slammed to the floor. Just as he seemed to get ready for the final blow, he stopped. It seemed as if he was needing to take a phone call from someone and  he called mother-something. As he talked, I groaned as I made an effort to sit up against one of the walls. I could hear him say something about looking for some guy, and as he turned around to look at me, I thought it was all over. My eyes got filled with tears of pain and I shut them. How could my life end like this?

 

My next class was math. I loved math. Growing up I was taught many different languages, but in math everything was always easier. I could learn it in English and completely be in a daze as the teachers tried to teach it to me in another language. I could choose not to care, because I already knew what I had to do.

Walking towards my math class I noticed the same girls from the bus ride to school, and thought of course they would go here. This time, however, I did not see the girl they had picked on. I thought maybe she decided to go home or simply that she was in another class. As I entered my class, I looked around and sure enough there she was, I should have guessed that a girl like that wouldn’t be too far away from her so-called friends. There she was in the back, looking nervous as she tried to explain to some students that the seats they wanted were already taken. The group of students began with the usual “you can’t save seats”, and “where are their stuff if they are here?” Not wanting to get involved with another problem, I sat two seats in front of her; one of the only seats available and away from all the chaos. After the bell rang and the teacher walked in. The girls came inside a while later and told the teacher that they were in the restroom but that they were already here before the bell rang, and simply created lie after lie and excuse after excuse. The teacher, not wanting to deal with this issue much further than what it had taken, asked for their names with all seeming intents on sending them somewhere else, but as soon as she heard their names she seemed to get nervous and just told them to sit down.

Watching them walk up the rows of seats, I overheard one of the students say “so that’s her” and another student reply “yea has to be, no one else could make a teacher that nervous”. Fighting my curiosity, I took a closer look at those girls and could very well see that they were some of the more wealthier students. The main girl had on some Gucci, and Michael Korhs, but even then I knew that I had more. Not that it mattered but when in doubt I knew I could put her in her place if it ever came to it.

The group finally sat down, and the teacher began to explain the rules and expectations of the class. She concluded with “…and that’s the whole spiel”. She explained that if we started class today with a lesson that we would be able to get ahead from the rest of the other classes, something that she made very clear she wanted to do. So she picked a random person and asked if we should start today. At first I thought she chose me, but very quickly realized that she picked the girl two seats behind me. At first, her eyes filled with inspiration, then filled with nervousness as she looked around to her so-called friends. She was able to mutter that it would be great if we could get ahead.

The teacher unable to hear her very well asked her to speak louder, which the girl wasn’t able to hear because she was distracted by the mutters of her friends telling her to tell the teacher no, to start later. “Miss El…” the teacher began and was interrupted with the girl saying “no lets… lets just start on another day”. The girl looked down and seemed disappointed at herself.

Then I got up and spoke up, “no, lets start now”. The teacher asked “excuse me?” And I continued “she said that we should start today, but then her friends told her to say something else,” so I looked at them “and I agree with her first response. We should start today, its obvious you want to and she wants to and even I want to. We are in the special class for a reason, we should have the mentality of wanting to get things done as fast as possible and being the winners should be our motto.” Everyone began to get riled up, and gave their yea’s in agreement and vigor.

Once again that thought came in my head, I would no longer be invisible in this classroom. I had shown some of my colors and they caught like fire. I quickly sat down and the teacher took control and excitedly  said “then lets get started”. She proceeded by testing us with a quiz from the first chapter of our book. I finished it rather fast, and while feeling proud of myself I couldn’t help but overhear those same girls telling the thinner girl that since it was her idea to make the class start today with a lesson, then she should give them the answers. She meekly replied “but that would be cheating” and the girls insisted. Once again without thinking and without hesitation I told the girls “shut up!”. The whole class turned around and I continued “if you girls really belonged here then you wouldn’t need to cheat off of her”. I could feel their eyes grow in disbelief and the rest of the class’ eyes on me.

 

I quickly turned away and began to walk, but before I could take my second step I felt a pull on my arm and I turned back to face him. Because of the force of the pull and my lack of balance for being mid-step, I leaned in close and he held me tight, right there in the middle of  a group of onlooking students. I looked up once more and he looked down at me, I could see him blushing too. We separated and acted as if all was fine and the people around us continued to their classes. He asked me if I was ok, and I said yes, even though my wrist was hurting, and I began to walk backwards telling him thank you for the help and that I had to go.

So innocent that first encounter was, so full of wondrous excitement. My life now holds days like that as days that are too quiet because of the malice in this world. As I sighed and took a nice deep breath I walked across some stones that cross the grass from one side of the courtyard to the other. As I got to the middle of the pathway, a young girl hopped her way into the block I was going to step on. Our pathways leading us in contradictory ways I stopped and so did she. Quickly she asked in Spanish if I was lost. Having been taught at a very young age the importance of knowing many languages, I was able to respond in Spanish that no I wasn’t. She asked to see my schedule and before I could answer to her request she took it from my hand and looked at it.

Before I could make an attempt to take the schedule back, she grinned and gave it back to me. A bit annoyed I asked why she was smiling, and very cheerfully she replied that we had most if not all our classes right next to each other. Unintentionally rolling my eyes with a disgruntled facade, that I am sure she noticed. She looked to her side as if contemplating whether to do something or not, and then looked back at me and said if you’re going to physical education then you are going the wrong way. Not wanting to seem unappreciative, I acted surprised and said that a girl had told me that the way to PE was this way.

With an understanding look in her face, she smiled so sweetly and said lets go. I followed her and for the short few minutes that we walked together we talked. And the way in which we talked to each other felt like if we were best friends from a lifetime ago. Not wanting for things to go any further, I decided that I would not try and befriend her. I didn’t want to hurt her. For the entire class I tried to get away from her, though it did not help that she was in the same class as me, I really tried. She followed me like a lost puppy. She seemed to understand what the class was doing, so the possibility that I would need to stay near her to translate seemed fairly low. After going into the locker room to change out, she dashed towards me and asked if I would like to be friends. Right away I told her no, and as she she asked me why, I simply said that friendships were pointless. Seeing the look in her face hurt me more than any of my last attempts to avoid friendships. It moved m, it compelled me to try to explain why I thought friendships were pointless, but before I could finish she exclaimed that friendships with someone like me would be pointless. Realizing what she had said, she gave a shocked face. It was obvious that she was surprised something like that had come out of her; and slowly with a heavy heart I said, maybe it was true and walked away.

Not realizing that the bell had not rang yet, I continued walking and thought about what that girl said. But, more importantly, why it had really affected me? Was it that it was high school? A semi-prestigious school? Just this girl in general? I didn’t know, I still don’t know; but as I looked forward I saw a map of the school on the side of the building wall. This school knew that its students wouldn’t be able to maneuver through with a map at hand so they set many of them up on the walls for easy access. Mapping out my classes I now knew where to go and and continued on. Hearing that a supervisor was around the corner, I decided to stay in the bathroom until the bell rang.

Once the bell finally rang I left the girls restroom and began heading towards class. I kept getting this feeling that someone was watching me. That someone was following me, and stupidly I shrugged it off thinking it was the campus security cameras doing their thing. I never would have thought that maybe it was something much more unpredictable. And unpredictable it was.

Today was the first day. It was supposed to be the first day, and I never knew how or why it ended up ending so badly. My name is Magenta and this is the beginning of when it all went wrong. But, that is my opinion.

It was on September 27, 2004 when I had just transferred from a school in northern California to southern California hoping to find a new start with a similar environment. I was only 14 years old and already I was living on my own. My parents had passed away along with my younger brother in a horrible cabin fire accident 5 years ago. Luckily, after spending 3 years with some people who pretended to be my family, I was able to become an adult in the eyes of the court and be free to make my own choices. Today is the first day of school, I am a freshman in highschool at a new school, in a new city and I am scared. I don’t know anyone and I do not wish to get to know anyone, because it’s pointless.

I woke up late that day and rushed out the door. As I got on to the city bus, I saw two elderly women get off the bus walking away, laughing, simply reminiscing about a simpler time. The bus started and I turned forward, and thought that maybe this year, this set of people would be different than before. I turned to look out the window and a bouquet of red fire looking roses caught my eye. They were beautiful. As the bus came to another stop I saw a group of 4 girls poking fun at a fifth brunette, glasses wearing, slender girl. It made me upset, and thought no, this year will not be different. All of these people are the same.

I had made the mistake of making friends before and maybe it’s because we were children and they were so naive, that maybe leaving me behind wasn’t their fault. Nevertheless, I know that psychologically it has scarred me and I don’t wish to try anymore. No one ever truly remembers those middle school days when children are testing out who they should become, but I do. Those daily trials that I constantly failed at, the humiliating days that I suffered because of girls who didn’t want to understand and boys who had nothing better to do. I was better off alone then and I am better off alone now.

The bus came to a stop and I stepped off. Only two blocks away from the school, almost a 48 minute commute so that I could attend this school with enough pretense so as to not stay longer at the end of the school day. That first day I had the sensation that I was being watched, and I though I turned my head and saw nothing, the next few times I simply ignored it. I walked unto campus, a very nice semi-prestigious school, that still enforced the uniform policy. Something I hoped would help me stay invisible and finish school without any problem. I made my way to the office and talked to a secretary about my paperwork and schedule. She was rude, or maybe on edge since many things were supposively going wrong. I took my schedule and left before she realized I had knocked over a plant because she shoved me out of her way.

Maybe if I would have stayed and received a map like all new students get, none of this would have happened, but that wasn’t the case. I walked outside, first bell had rung and I hurried my pace to get to my first classroom that I had no idea where it was. That’s when I saw him. Well more like that’s when I bumped into him, as I fell backwards on my butt, I looked up. Because of the positioning of where he stood and where I sat, he seemed angelic. The sun glowing behind him, I couldn’t help but notice all of his features. He was taller than me, had dark brown hair, a slightly visible jawline, and a very straight nose; the straightest nose I had ever seen. He had light brown eyes, and was kind of tan. It felt like I was gawking at him for the longest moment in all of my life up until that point.

As he reached out his hand to help me, I could see his lips moving. I felt myself do a weird face not understanding what was going on and realized as I reached out to him that he was saying something to me. As he pulled me up I quite loudly asked what?! It surprised him and as I looked around, the idea that I would be invisible this year shattered like glass. I looked back at him and apologized, all the while trying to stop myself from blushing the beat red color I know my face to get.