All around I see,
All sorts of happiness and smiles,
And though I should be happy;
I just cant catch up to those miles.

The green, the red the merrily
All are signs of such great things.
And normally my life would be
Just oh so filled with bliss.

Just last year I was content,
Now this 20 and 15 just feels like a miss.
How can it be that it sucked so hard?
All year round it drained all bliss.

Now I see the difference.
Last year we had so many presents,
And it's not about that of course,
But last year I just gave so much more.

I look around and I see couples
Lovey dovey as they should be,
But there in lies my question again
When will that be me?
This year just so many things went wrong
And though around this time its not about looking down.
I should look up,
I want to look up
But this year just held me down.

I felt a despair,
A pain in my heart,
Something no one could fix.
With a relative missing
It just couldn't be, it was jinxed

It did not feel like Christmas,
It felt much worse.
A day to buy things,
Instead it was just buying yourself.

I feel down and cant sleep.
And all I can think, is 
Please 20 and 16
Grant me this bliss.

I…am angry. So angry that it hurts
My heart, oh so much.
What you say can not fix this,
What you do can not stop, t’is
A feeling you have brought.
There is nothing you can do,
Because all the words you say are hollowed thru…!
My heart and soul brake piece by piece.
So advice let me give to thee.
Better, much better than a thousand hollow words such as these…
Is but one, just one word that brings me peace.
For me that word is no,
For no I will not, go back to your indiscretions…foe!
For you that word should be fine,
Yet you claim that your word is mine.
For I am yours, my master you claim
This time, no matter what your aim
No matter what you say or do
I can guarantee that nothing can be sung ado
No matter what I…am done!

Its bad, its wrong, its hurtful,
No matter what the gender.
But what indeed, such acts as these,
Means to cheat?
To like. So simple a concept.
To flirt, to want, to sex, to love
These main four, are Cheating’s worse.
But nice is fine for all must treat
As if they were all so neat.
To not say something has happened between you two
Is a lie.
And to mention nothing great is untrue
Because cheating is keeping something from your lovers truth.
And when things are brought and truth unfold
Will you still cover your folly?
Do you not understand the suffering body?
If truth is what you wish, not us
Then truth like always will be just
So emplore I must,
And say just this…
That Cheaters Lust
Is a gamer’s sin.

I am invisible.
It is inevitable,
That life is harsh.
And death, is freedom.
Existence is meaningless when
The social classes do ignore,
What can someone do?
Nothing, nothing of course.
Live life as invisible as you want.
But know that your invisibility is their just.
For them you doing your best,
Is what makes you seem less.
You try day in and day out, 
And never further can you stride;
Yet hopefuls lie.
You are truly hopeful when you change,
Your routine, your journey, your days.
Stray away from that folly
Do not give those cats your money!
Be invisible, truly.
It is oh so liberating.
Realize and awake the masses.
For only then can you truly be happy.
Awake from yonder sleep,
Quit being defined by them,
Create your version of invisibility
And sneak up right behind them.
Take what is yours, be who you are
Only then will this land be ours!
Be invisible, it's a just cause.

I hid from my eiry past,
I'm scared of the unknown future.
My sacred present is moving too pass
And these moments are just murder.

I wish not to dwell in things long due,
But this battle of history and unpredictability is a huge feud!
I try to make sure I see the unknown,
I have learned, but this has not shown.

The things I should do, I don't.
And others, I try not to and say I wont,
They say do not dwell in the past, 
Because then the present will not last.
Then they say do not dream of the future,
Maybe I'm just too immature.

My only sweet salvation is two,
I must concentrate my mind
For it wonders to and fro,
On the present moment that binds
My ever so changing pose.

This whole body is to be me.
How bad the past may be
I can not stop that it was,
And always served a just cause
Though I wish to forget and not dream, 
I will simply accomplish what I can reach.

I always wanted to draw, 
Draw to my hearts content. 
But allas I can not, 
Because I wonder about 
All the dumb little things that go wrong. 
I try, I try, I do my best, 
And yet nobody cares. 
I draw, I draw 
And no one sees. 
I speak to explain 
And no one listens. 
I bolded myself to courage 
And he turned away. 
My pencil, my paper, my desk...
Are one true friends,
And even they criticize my work. 
Force me to see, feel, touch 
What I wish not to. 
My art, my life,my family, 
All have a place in my heart. 
To draw, to me, 
Is a way to express 
What is in thine eyes, 
Heart,...soul. 
Pay attention 
And you'll see 
Something new 
Inside of me.

So that day comes near, the day of all pains.
In my heart I feel, that you are mine again.
Though untrue, unfulfilled, and unhappy days go by
My mind everyday goes back in time.

To the day that we met, in truth.
You forgot, so long overdue.
But for three years time we met quite often
Now I question was it even worth it?

I thought maybe one day you would see what I once saw,
And every year that thought got small.
I yearned for you, I know you, still
Your touch, caresses and taste of love is a bill.

I can say I loved you, more easily
Though Venice, California is no Venice of Italy.
Just like one sided love is just an obsession,
You were my jewel, my one life lesson.

I should fare you good day, but you're still here.
I should try to forget you, but you tell me come here.
And what's worse is that every single time I try...
I fail miserably because of that forsaken chilled spine.

So day by bad day I live one life
Hoping one day I would be your wife.
I am chained down by this strife
For now, unfortunately I am my husband's wife.

As this fourth of a birth of a nation approaches,
I am reminded of the life that encroaches.
I want you and it pains me in depth,
I wish i could wait for you, but i can't hold my breadth.

Not Much to say,
Except for this,
That hopefully one day,
You will have bliss.
For you Mr. Grinch,
The hater of others receiving,
Having your heart filled inch by inch
With this dreadful feeling.
Even you, the bearer of the devil's eyes,
Needs love and compassion on this day
Filled is your joy, with others cries,
Deserves everything he wishes on his birthday.

Have a good one.