Holder of Fire #27

School lets out and I head home towards the park on Mission. I get to the park and sure enough Michael has beaten me here. “Hello Magenta”, “Hello Michael” I say in return. He continues, “so, you wanted to talk?”

“Yes, I saw you earlier today running down the hallway; what was that about?” I pretend like I saw nothing. I fold my arms across my body and prepare for what he has to say. A little surprised he says, “Oh, mum… hmmmmm. Well. Ahhhh…” I cut him off, “Spill it already, goodness gracious!”

“Ah, sorry. It’s just I thought I saw you help me earlier and now I’m not sure… But, anyways, one of my traps was set off and I assumed it would be Bullfrog; so, when I got the notice, I ran quickly to see.” He pauses and I say, “Nice name by the way, kudos on being clever” I giggle.

He responds bewildered, “I didn’t name him that; those are the animals combined to create the demon soul that possesses that very huuuman body.” He looks down and continues, “The fact that he can only be seen as a monster;” he takes a heavy breath in pain and groans as his body is still aching from the battle, and begins to take a seat, “means that we are way more behind than I originally realized. They are getting stronger and we still…” he pauses and thinks and continues, “we only have just you.” He points to me as he says that, “We are going to have to begin your training”, he sighs and starts to sound frustrated and groans, “an…and your list of boundaries as of now is annulled.” He waves his hand flat to create a horizontal line, meaning severed or cut. Surprised all I could muster was the sound ofa surprised soft “Huh…” and he says the words I wish he didn’t have to say, “Today you should have transformed and helped me…”

“…Or should have been able to; every time we encounter them it is imperative that we show that we have the upper hand; else that fear grows in the community and they get stronger and are able to increase their army. We need to show them that we are also making moves, but instead our weakness feeds their arrogance and it makes them stronger. It’s not your fault that you didn’t know what to do this time, BUT I need you to know what to do next time, I need you to know what we are up against and why all this other stuff is nonsense in comparison.” He waves his forearms around and looks to the direction of the school.

“Ok” is all I could say as the guilt ridden memory of when I saw the man beat Bullfrog, like not even 6 weeks ago in actual time; and in this short amount of time Bullfrog… has gotten strong enough to hurt him. I tune back in and he seemingly continues as if he was in his own head… and mutters “I lost something I should not have even had on my person; now who knows how strng they will be.” He drops his head to his hand as the other rests on the table.

I ask, “What did he take from you?” He responds, “I can’t say yet, but it was bad. Really bad.” I can feel his intense remorsefulness, sadness, and guilt. I don’t know why he feels that way or how badly he dropped the ball; but he reassured me when I was feeling down about Saul, the least I could do is the same. “Hey…” I sit down across from him on the park table and reach out to his hand out of instinct. The words flow through me as if in harmony with the universe and I say, “Don’t worry Michael, I got your back; so long as you got mine.”

A glistening tear forms in his eye, and he takes a breath. Rejuvenated he stands up, throws his arms in the air and exclaims, “Your RIGHT! You are always right…. thank you” he ends softly; he takes a breath and rests his hands on the back of his head and he starts to glow.

I look around to see if anyone is nearby and an entire family with a dog and cat look at our direction. I panic and jump across the table to take him down and out of sight; he catches me and the family shocked at my display of affection leave speedily out of the park. Having crashed into him, I get on my knees and I am sitting on his stomach, arms holding myself up from the ground, face to face with Michael. I realize the situation I put ourselves in and turn beat red; I look towards the family and see that they are gone.

I quickly turn to Michael and blushingly embarrassingly and stutteringly I say squeal at Michael, “Why would you start to glow in the middle of the park in front of a family?!” as I get off of him but stay on the ground so he doesn’t see up my skirt and scoot away from him with every squealed word. He confusingly turns to me and says “Glow?”

“You saw me glow?”
“Well, it’s pretty hard to miss when it is so bright” I say. He smiles a sweet and gentle smile and says, “Well then, that right there settles everything.” I looked at him confused and before I can ask any questions he gets up and gestures for me to follow him.

We walk out of the park and towards the center of town, I recognize the area as it is near Safehouse #7. After a few neighborhoods, I finally ask “where are we going?” He says, “I need to show you something, but going back to what you said earlier. About me glowing… there are only a few people on this planet who can see that glow…” My heart sinks and I say “Uh-huh.”

He continues, “you see, there’s this lore; and scientists have actually started to scratch the surface to this truth as well, but the jest is this, I believe that this era isn’t the first-time humanity has… let’s say ‘existed’. Each time this species has been in danger they were able to rely on the saviors, a group of warriors that converged into this one dimension from other destroyed inner dimensions to protect the last remains of life from those different dimensions that were safeguarded and found on the arc. This place called earth is what the result of the last time the warriors sacrificed themselves after being attacked; this allowed the arc to create a unique place that is on the ‘other side of the arc’; a place where those souls could be made to be sent to earth causing different souls to come together here.”

“So, if this lore is true, then you are saying it’s like aliens are already here they are just more incognito than we even realized??” I interrupt.

“I guess that’s one way of looking at it, but they are all human souls just different dimensional humans so they differ, the souls here all have had different journeys and have been reborn countless of times, some are newer than others and some are ancient survivors of those calamities.” He pauses as we stop, seems like we have arrived, “And then there are the souls like yours, divinely protected, guided, and true; fighters of justice, fighters of truth, fighters of love and kindness, fighters of darkness into the light. This is my place of operations for now; the very few people who can see my glow or any remnant of my powers are those meant to guide us with downloads from the other side. Which for some reason have been corrupted, so I am not getting everything I should be. Once I meet with the person who is to provide me the next download, I will move my operations elsewhere.”

I look around at the sad and cold place he calls his base. I’ve seen and prepared a better base than this before is my immediate thought. “My main role in this team is to provide the information on how to proceed and progress so that we are ready for when they show up to fight. In this team we will have a leader, a planner, an organizer, a sergeant, and our sacred weapon; however, for now you must learn every role so that when we find your partners you can help and train them to reach your level of experience.”

I hear what he says and think to myself planner huh? Maybe I do belong on this team, if my life has taught me anything is that I know how to plan many different things from escapes to parties. Looking around I can see that he ate food from the school, no bed, no desk, barely a bathroom to access. I look to him and think how could you be ok with living like this?

I slowly ask him, “How can you live like this? Don’t you have a family or home?”

Michael turns to me, takes a seat crisscross applesauce and blushes as if embarrassed by the question. “I have a higher calling Magenta, and this body I love it. It has given me so many experiences this time around;” ‘this time around’ I think to myself. “But this is a soulless body, what we call a vessel.”
“What do you mean soulless and vessel??” I ask a little freaked out thinking to myself ‘like possession?’
“We can send soulless bodies through one side of the arc to the other. We tend to manage the souls, however whenever evil is involved the controls get corrupted like a virus, and its like its able to corrupt them. So, we send blank vessels so that when we need to interfere, the few and rare times wave had to, we can. This body named Michael, was born to lead a life with no one there to support him. No one there, so that when we needed him, we could come in and out.

So no, I have no home, no family, and up until I came into this body; this young man was trying to rent an apartment but no one would rent him one, so now I’m stuck having to use my powers constantly to fit in.”
I understood what he had said but it still broke me, to have someone purposefully live a meaningless and difficult life really forced me to question how I could help what ever this was, especially if they could be so heartless. I knew things didn’t have to be this way, I had everything necessary to help him, to help not make this harder on him.
“Hey michael I want to thank you for opening up to me I know its hard to say what needs to be said without being seen as crazy or demented. Hell I’d be one of those people if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. The truth slapped me in the face and seems like the more I resist the more it’s going to show my ineptitude and unpreparedness. I agree to fight with you. As of today November 3rd, I will fight, train, and be right there with you. But I still need to do some things on my end before this goes down.”

“Like what?” He asks. I say “it’s personal. But I will talk to you tomorrow” if we are going to fight we are going to win and get this done and over with. I think to myself while walking away. I turn around to say good bye but he is already asleep in a box bed slightly glowing as he healed. I close the door and walk out.

Pinkcheecks Favorite Album

What’s your all-time favorite album?

This song awoke music in me, or should I say English music to me. It was androgenous, it made me question, it captivated me, and I was 15 years old when it came out. So, of course I was in my teenage feelings of lust and wonder, fear and general curiosity. The song, and you wont beleive me when I say it, was Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake, member of N’Sync.

I was not a member of the N’Sync or Backstreet Boys teams back in the day, but their music surrounded me on Tv shows and commercials, radio, friends mp3s, and at home thru my sibling. But when I heard that song, it blew my mind away and made my heart race; hell maybe even pupils dilated.

A few days or weeks later, cant really remember now, I made sure to save up enough money for my birthday. I wanted a CD player and to get my first CD. My parents would buy me the $18.99 on sale pink with flowers cd player, while I paid for the (maybe on sale, but I remember the Cd was more expensive that the CD Player) $19.99 Sexy Back Album in 2006 on my birthday. I listened to that CD over and over again, it trully flowed so well together that the ending of one song went into the begining of another.

It was the first time hearing a concert in my ears. Prior to this my ears heard all types of English music that was head boppin, but for me who loved spanish dance-able music… a head bop just wasnt enough when the latter made my whole body move. This album made me want to dance the way the music videos showed it could be danced.

For the memories, for the love of dancing, for the courage to buy the CD at 16, as a gift for myself … all of these things are what makes this album my all-time favorite album for the rest of my life… lol or at least will hold a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. (Like if the house burnt down and I had time to get it… I would).

Holder of Fire #26

The bell rings and I try to catch up to Lyla, but after going through the door and nearly reaching her I remember that she had asked me to stay away from her. So, with that I turned around and walked away towards my next class. I make a note to remember to tell Michael. I continue to the last period of the day, once again the same announcement.

“I am already involved when I don’t want to be involved, but because I have to be, … if she doesn’t want this then I can understand that…” I thought as I was making my way through the crowd of students. I need to let Michael know of my suspicion though, maybe he can get closer to her to find out and see. Maybe we can help each other, and the sooner I find the actual holder of fire the sooner I can move on to finding him.

I go and try to find Michael before the late bell rings but he isn’t where he usually is. I think back and remember that I am not to be looking for him directly and I breathe a sigh of relief and head inside; I think to myself ‘I hope that was enough to show that I was only looking for him because he had been ‘stalking’ me and not because we are now working together’. The sense of someone watching me passes quickly, like that of a scout sent out to keep an eye. The same feeling, I had the moment before I was attacked. I quickly get into class and once again the announcement rings. Reminding student to walk in pairs.


I take my seat and all that was on my mind leaves my brain, the intense feeling of dread, the very moment I realized what class this is and WHO specifically was in this class. Windy. She dislikes me. Since day 1 and I still don’t know why. ‘Almost like I did something to her in a past life.’ I think to myself and smile at the silly thought.

Windy unfortunately sees me smile and speaks loudly enough to say, “Well apparently something you said about your sick grandma is SOOO funny that Magenta is smiling; (directed at me) how about you mind your own business you heartless…” one of her friends stops her and says, “its ok it’s not like she could have heard what we were talking about…” she turns around and I am left just stupefied. I literally was thinking to myself and she had a whole ass cow. A part of me gets upset, meanwhile another part of me begrudgingly understands her defense of her friend. I let it go with that understanding thought and focus on English class, the teacher says, “here we start the year with reading Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and I want each of you to play a role.” I can’t believe the teacher wants us to play the roles, I guess this is just High school level expectations. The class visibly groans, but she promises it will be fun, so we try because she is kind.

The bell rings and I am off to the last class for the day. Art, nice and calming art. As soon as we are let inside, I see Michael running fast down a hallway. Something in me, pushes me to run after him.
I leave art class yelling to the student nearest me “I really gotta pee, please let the teacher know I am going to the restroom.” I see him go behind a building where there are no classes being held there since it’s being demolished during the next break with no students. I think to myself, “Seems like a perfect place to go and hide.”

I sneak around the different garden barricades and make it to a point where I can see Michael holding a fireball and throwing it. I poke my head around more and there… There he is! Bullfrog.
The monster that cut my back, tried to eat me, and for a while there I honestly thought that I had made the whole thing up in my head; that is until Michael confirmed that he was one of the evil henchmen he had mentioned before. Here he was, or err…there he was over 6ft tall, reptile skin with a frog like face but a cow like nose with a ring on it, he had black and white spots like a milking cow but with horns and bumps. I turn away and crack a smile at the name that Michael gave him, I guess he does seem like a bull and frog. I turn back around and see that Michael is now on the floor and that Bullfrog is walking menacingly closer to him. He is holding his hand out as if to ask for something and then goes to swipe at him. A quick flashback to the moment when he had swiped at me and the bloody mess he made before Michael was able to heal me; yea he confessed that too. I turn away and think fast…

‘I need an emergency… the fire alarm… but there are no fire alarm pulleys here’, I a matter of a second I focus my hand on the necklace and asked it, “Please, help me. Michael is in trouble and I still don’t really know what I am doing!” Breathing hard and panicking on what to ask or even do. I continue to speak and say, “Please help me start a small fire to set off the fire alarm!”

Instinctively my hand raises and I feel a slight warmth and a small fire sprouts from my hand; I bring my hand down to see the cute little fire before it quickly starts to get really hot, and I let it go. Dropping it into the trash bin. A slight but quick flash of fire sprouts from the trash can making a lot of smoke and sets off the fire alarm. I think to myself ‘Well, I guess that did it.’

I go back out and turn around to see if Michael is ok. It looks as if other students help him up and everyone goes to their emergency spot. Before heading to my spot, I see him deflated, I can tell something bad must have happened when I turned away. And the thought hits me; “Should I have transformed to help him fight Bullfrog here at school?? I find my class and the teacher exclaims “oh thank goodness Magenta, glad to see you join us.” I say “Yea the alarm rang and I just came straight here from the bathroom.”

She accepts the answer and we wait for protocol to be followed. The question continues to ring thru my head, could I have done something? After some time, we get word that we are going back to class. I text Michael before we go inside.

“We need to talk, meet me at the park on Mission Ave after school” and I hit send.

I think ‘Let’s see how this will go’…before I say “I hope I didn’t mess up.” End of Day Announcements, “A reminder to students to please walk in pairs or get picked up by your parents or guardians as we remind you that the first official report of a student from our school has gone missing. If you have any information, please contact the police.”

The Little Voice

There’s always a little voice that tells you what to do,

some people call it good

others not quite so,

yet there it is

that little voice

in my head…

it encourages me to fail and

yet, gives me courage to try

its weird, how we think,

that voice that is deep inside.

It’s me, for me,

it’s you… for you

and depending on how you are

its seems like its just right for you.

So here I am

with this thought;

the one that says that I am

the controller of my whole world…

that you are in my world; to be a part of my world.

That what you do has nothing to do with you;

and everything to do with me…

that somehow if I summoned the ‘power’

I could do as I wish and see your whole being

your history, and that somehow by doing so,

it would benefit me.

Today there is a right in the world that most recognize,

my little voice says ‘he will win’

and then I see the [masses] and

I begin to question the power of my mind.

How can this be??

How can I feel so powerful and then so weak at times;

is it just me?

Maybe the little voice in my head isn’t what I think it is…

maybe… it’s just me holding my tongue to those who…

who may not know.

That little voice,

that small little voice, so strong…

So weak.

Yet, so potent.

Holder of Fire #25

I peak through the windows hoping to see Saul, I can’t normally get in to this area without being noticed by my past so in a disguise, and a direct route to here is much obliged. Not that I would thank Michael for bringing me here. No sign of Saul.

I exit through a hole in the bush in the back and hide behind a dumpster making sure no one is around. I enter the dumpster and sit down in the neatly decorated inside, 2 steps down and you enter the real property, the Levine Safe House Secret House Number 99. I let out a sigh of relief, and say ” ok necklace I promise I won’t take you off this time. I just… I was told to give it back so that’s what I tried to do. I’m sorry if that would have been bad for you. Or… err me. Now, De-elementasize.”

Magenta returns to her true self and ponders for the next 24hrs while returning to her main residence and preparing for school. She goes to school the next day and meets Michael during lunch.

“Alright Michael I have my ground rules ready for this so-called training.” She says as she sits at his lunch bench away from other students. She notices his lunch and his posture while sitting on the floor arms behind his head as he expected me. “Before you say anything I need to tell you some things first.” He says as he does a reverse pull up from the ground to the bench to sit next to me.

“Look you are in danger; I am not the only one looking for the holder of Fire. The enemy knows you are here, that encounter was not happenstance. A possible trap, and worse yet… I interfered, we sit near each other and now you want to converse with me. That change in behavior is suspicious for those who are keeping watch at anything not typical of human behavior; that choice may have intervened with everything I have been working the last 2 years for. That’s how long I’ve been looking for you, for this; to catch up and do this.”

Magenta’s mind trails momentarily to a flashback of her and Saul running and escaping. Her heart sinks, was this also what Saul meant when he said I was meant for so much more than the life I was living? She collects herself and comes back to Michael talking.

“Please listen to me… the entire story of what this all means will sounds crazy, and will be so much. I won’t be able to tell you everything because not all of my memories have successfully downloaded from the Arriba Zone.” He points up and to his head solemnly. “What you need to know now is what I know as of now. You have a team that is here to help you… ooooor you have to find them. And there are at most 3 enemies in the near vicinity. Major enemies or barely just scouts depending on where their headquarters are located.”

“Headquarters? Major enemies? The Arriba Zone? So,… then why me, is it because of my family? Am I just born this way or did something happen to me to make me this way? You said this necklace would only work for me is that true? If that is true then what happens next?”

“It’s hard to say, the downloads I’ve had, haven’t been the most… clear. Like the signal isn’t quite getting through. We originally thought that the power of the necklace was split amongst more than one person, but the way it reacted to you makes me believe that there can’t be any other person who could have a piece of the power.”

“Wait..WAIT… so that means that there is a chance that I may not be the person you’re looking for? Then I want to continue with my boundary list at this point. I want you to help me find Saul first and foremost, you seem to have powers that may help in the search for him. I have plenty of experience for the type of fight you are wanting to use me for and I am willing to help…” mainly because I can’t take this thing off, “and if I am not the person you are looking for you have to promise to take this thing off and leave me alone to live the rest of my life or as long as it lasts with Saul and uninvolved from what you are doing here, as I move on with my life.”

“I know that I am not wrong, so that’s is a deal. I will help you and we can discuss in detail what you would like me to do when it comes to your missing friend.” He responds and continues, “we can not meet each other at school until I make sure that you are part of my cover story. Otherwise, for now you and I will have to meet a little bit more privately” he reaches across the table to reach for my hand and I panic and cross my arms; and he flips it over and makes a fire in his hand. “Let’s move on to your training, you need to be able to make fire at will like this before we can go over the attacks that existed from ancient tradition. The trainings shouldn’t take very long, it honestly can’t take that long…” He trails off and then turns off the flame and he continues, “lets meet after school today and discuss things further, our cover story and everything moving forward. For now, I must continue to search for the next Holder.”

Surprised I respond, “you already found another one?” I think to myself that maybe this whole thing won’t be so bad if I am not the only one doing this; I say “How many members will this team have?” He says “Maybe, I maybe found another one, only you will be able to tell for sure. As the Holder of Fire you are the chosen and volunteered leader of this team. And, as far as I know.. there are only 5 members…” his voice trails off as his mind wonders to some far off thought, I whisper to him that I am going to go and walk away.

I turn around and look at him sitting there, I think to myself; could he really help me? I can’t be what or who he is looking for, but so long as he can help me look that is the only thing that matters to me. I go to 5th period and see the girls from the Garden, her name is Lyla and she still mad stares at me. We sit in the same seat but in opposite sides of the room, sometimes while passing papers we make eye contact and her face shows her annoyance. Since I’m way in the back I keep trying the flame trick that he mentioned and nothing works, she looks over and I feel a Zap in my hand and smoke start to ignite, in unison from across the room we say ‘Oh shit!’ and we look at each other suspiciously. I point to her and mouth “did you do that?” and she mouths the same thing then continues in a surprised face to our unison that ‘No I didn’t you did.’ The teacher continues to teach and we look forward and we get distracted with that moment for the rest of class. I think back to Michael saying “I maybe found another one…” and look to Lyla; could she be a Holder?

Holder of Fire #24

The sensation of his lips still on mine, my heart racing…. No pounding!

My face feels like its burning. My hand goes to touch my lips, my first kiss. With a sad face, I back away and think to run, and he yells “WAIT!!”

I fall from the roof on my third step, completely forgetting that he had jumped us to the roof of this 10-story building.

Shocked and with tears now flowing from my eyes I scream, after the scream my face relaxes as I accept my fate, ‘no one could possibly save me now.”

Falling, I turn face-up and see feathers? So many feathers. Then a shadow. Then last I see, a… fiery bird-man grabbing me. Muttering, “Oh f@#%, she’s heavier than all the times before.” I faint, as today has officially been to much.

I dream a quick flash of a dream or past memory. I find myself and speak to this self, I know its not me but I can see her speaking through me. I ask her what this all means, am I actually trully crazy? She responds “what?? No, not at all. We were meant for something more, and you need to trust in order to be guided.” She turns to the glass and I see my body move in as in to kiss someone. I instantly think of the cute boy and blush.

Suddenly the lights flash red and she yells, but they are still embraced.

I wake up and slowly open my eyes to find Michael kissing me. Omce again my heart racing, the feeling starts as normal and slowly changes to shock and I push him away. I only take one step back and hold my mouth.

How could there ever be a we in this or trust in this if he keeps kissing me without me being conscious…?? As I think this I pull my hands away from my mouth and see that I am wearing Red gloves with a curved edge raised in a cone like shape, with fire loops accenting the curves. I sit down or better yet fall down to my knees on the horror that he may have changed my outfit. Many thoughts running through my head, she said I could trust him…???

My skirt is also red with flames and as I go from shock to horror to anger the flames on the skirt and gloves begin to love.

I look up to him and he smiles and says, “I knew it was you, Magenta you are the holder of the Elemental Earth Power of Fire, you come from a long lineage of fighters and it has come time for you to train for the future war that will begin on your 25th birthday.”

“Is that why Saul left me? Because it’s time for me to train??” I ask. And he pauses, and says “I honestly don’t know a Saul in any of this, I’m sorry. But he won’t be important for what we are going to have to do.”

Shook, I look down and become sad. The flames dim. He ahems and says, “not that he isn’t important at all, it’s just we lost a lot of time already. Is he lost? Kidnapped? Missing?”

I look up and say “I think missing. I’ve been worried is all, I’m sure he will be back soon.”

Let’s talk some more at your place, but first you will have to de-transform. Wait, you didn’t change my clothes??

Michael shocked WWWHHAAAaaaatttttTTTT?? NO, I WOULDNT DO THAT!! The necklace I placed around your neck when we spoke earlier allowed you to transform into the fire elemental heroes training outfit. I guess since you wear something similar to this for school your, mind choose this look for you to fight in. Now let’s have you de-transform, go ahead.

Waits and I look to him for further 9nstructions… then I ask wait is that all that your gonna say…?

Well what else am I supposed to say? You just do it.

I stare blankly at him and think to myself, ok must be that easy, de-transform. I open my eyes and… nothing.

I look up to him confused and he looks back at me with a raised eyebrow. I finally say “I don’t know how to make this go away”

And he responds, “sigh, ok no worries I though that by now your abilities would have some showing but if not that’s ok.” He makes a worried face and continues “come up with a word that for now means that you change back to yourself.”

I nod and say “de-elementasize” I feel a radiance leave my body and soon enough I turn back to myself. I go to take off the necklace and quickly I transform back and an almost animalistic me screams Nnnnnooooo! The emotion is intense, a fear fills my heart as I look down to confirm I’m back in uniform, and look up to him. “What happened? What… what was that?”

“I’m not sure but at this point we’ve probably been exposed too long.” Moves close to Magenta and swiftly with no hiccups picks magenta up and runs and jumps off the building. “Which way is your house? We have much to discuss and plan.”

I point in the direction of my house, the last thing I want is to be exposed and seen in this outfit. As we zoom by the town, I scan the ground to see if maybe I see Saul. I guess he notices that I’m looking around, and changes from carrying me bridal style to arm around and next to him. Oddly enough I didn’t freak out when he did this, it felt familiar and safe.

“Hey are you ok?” I look to him and stare at his brown eyes, my feelings start to bubble, but before being overwhelmed with emotion I say “considering everything I’ve been through, … I don’t know.” My eyes start to water, “it’s been a long day.” He nods and we land at my door step.

I thank him for the lift and proceed to walk inside, I hear a footstep and turn to see him following me inside, “Oh no, I need you to stop right there. I don’t see you coming inside my home.”

He sadly looks to the ground and says, “Oh, ummm. Okay, I thought we were gonna talk…”

I lowly and meekly say “We will but I’m still in this outfit, the necklace wouldn’t come off, you are still a student from class that I just met. And even though I’ve been asked to keep an open mind and told that you can be trusted, this is all too new and different, but most importantly weird. I don’t know what to make of all of this, and I understand that you have answers. But if I really am the girl you are looking for, then please understand that this is too much for one day. If this is training, then we will have to set some ground rules. And for now, I set a temporary rule of no weird shit for the next 49hrs while I try to come to terms with the magical necklace around my neck.”

“Sigh, fine. But this is a waste of time in the grand scheme of things, I will see you Thursday.” He turns around and leaves. I wait until he’s out of sight, and go around to the back of the house. It’s a safe house, and now it’s compromised.

Holder of Fire #23

Back to Magenta.

‘Phew, made it to 1st period’. The rest of the day goes the same until 4th period going into Lunch.

‘Ok, getting out of this class is when he starts to bug me about meeting him outside after school. I can’t accept today or any day this week until I finish scoping out the place where I say we will meet.’

I starts to pack up all of my things, ‘I need to make sure he hasn’t noticed that I noticed, I can use this repeated time to help me’. The bell rings and she waits for her row to leave and asks the same question she asked the teacher all those times ago, through her side view she notices that Michael is disappointed and packs his stuff, he  doesn’t wait for her, she looks and he leaves.

As I finish talking to the teacher I walk after him, ‘this is different…’, I think to myself. I turn to the right and he is nowhere to be seen, he couldn’t just have disappeared. I look for him, and realize ‘Shoot! I might have just gave myself away! I never would have chased him before!’

All of a sudden, a wave of pulsating invisible force courses through me, the students around me don’t notice anything but this light is too much. It feels blinding, nothing is there yet this energy forces me to close my eyes. When I come to, and open my eyes, I find myself in my 6th period class??

‘How did this happen?’ Freaking out I try to remember how the rest of the day went, but with so many Mondays… ‘Wait, All Of Those Mondays?? Then how come I only remember one Monday?’

I walk out of class dazed and the friend who needed me comes to claim it from me, but even she notices that I’m all out of sorts. I decide to walk home since maybe the fresh air will help take this headache away.

As I walk home, that feeling that I’m being followed comes and goes, but the headache really had me all out of sorts. I feel weak and like I’m going to faint at times, but catching myself I walk on. I take some medicine and decide to stop at the next bus stop. ‘I didn’t want to stop, but I think I underestimated this headache.’

Getting closer to two buildings by the corner, it’s as if my inner alarm bell is going off, and then all of a sudden that feeling is gone. Something is pulling me towards the dark alley way. My headache is gone, the wobbly feeling is gone, and as clear as day I can remember everything. Its as if my body went into autopilot and I couldn’t control my own body. I step back and all of my symptoms come right back, forcing me to step forward in order to feel better.

I look around me and of course there aren’t any people around me. Checking the “barrier” I discover that there is a circular area where I am OK, and going outside of it hurts, like a lot. As I walk back and forth trying to figure what to do, someone grabs me from behind! A hand covers my face and I can’t sceam. My heart hurts, and panic is starting to set in. A quick struggle to get free, but I can’t. They’re too strong, what am I gonna do?? My eyes begin to tear up. I close my eyes and move my face right and left to get it free, I succeed and I yell “Put me down!”

We land and I look up, while he jumped I was so scared and I held on to dear life and ended up wrapping my arms around him. I’m what would seem to most, a loving embrace between lovers. Shocked and embarrassed to be so close to a Boys face I meekly pound his chest and try to push away and say “get away from me!”

He steps back and says, “Magenta, its you” and points to me.

I sneer at him and say “No, shit Sherlock. That’s my name…” I look around and realizing what happened and where we are, I fall to the ground and start to back up slowly. ‘So it was kidnappers… what am I gonna do??’

“I tried to ask you this nicely, over and over again…” He says holding his head with his thumb and pointer finger frustratingly, and continues, “and now you left me no choice… If its not you love, then you won’t remember this.” He begins to walk towards me and still on the ground, I scoot back and nervously raise my voice, summon my courage and ask, “Did you take Saul?”

He stops. My courage raises, ‘Why did he stop?’, I keep going. “Do you know where he is?” He looks confused, then shakes his head. “Is that why you have been wanting to talk to me? To ask me for the ransom?” I pause to take a breath, eyes focused on him. Slowly, an anxiety attack hits me, out of nowhere. ‘I can’t loose control, I can’t faint here,’ struggling to breath, ‘I don’t have my medicine.’ My eyes close…

‘Wait…’ A voice in my head says. ‘You know him, he wouldn’t do that, not to you. Part of you knows this to be true.’ All of a sudden its as if I am in trance and am transported to a different place, “what is all of this?”

Mysterious voice goes, ‘you really don’t know this place?’

Silence.

10 Seconds Later.

Mystery voice comes back ‘Go figure, hmmmmm…. This is a problem.’ I respond “who are you?!”

I slowly feel myself wake up. Arms around me, warm beating heart, a sweet minty taste and a wiggle sensation in my mouth. My eyes fly wide open and I see Michael’s eyes closed… and … kissing me?!?! Shocked I push him away and yell “Get AWAY FROM MEEEEEEeeee!”

Nov. 27, 2020 Update

Covid19 began last year in November and coould have started as early as as october. Either way our government tried to warn the president but he was too busy being beasties with China whim tried to hide the overwhelming evidence that there was a virus. Creating a situation that they felt they were prepared to handle as the world’s savior, but utterly failed. We failed too though. The stupid president couldn’t even follow the plan, because he was too impatient. When we should have closed and took it serious he made it political and thus many may people followed in his footsteps, so many people that came to regret their support. Either way, a new president will start if the last one doesn’t steal it.

So this is my update, had a typical dinner with my family essentially celebrating a day that marks the beginning of a massacre and genocide of the native peoples of this land, all under the guise of religion when we should give thank for what we have, while people fall to the marketing ploy to buy. Buy, buy… while we are lucky to have a feast today, I know that many don’t. Many can’t and should have been able to.

I’m sorry this all went down the way it did, it is important to pay attention to the political stuff and really understand what is real and what evidence means. Otherwise we will always get to this poi t of unbelievable hardship.

Happy thanksgiving, I’m blessed because the family I had, I still have.

Holder of Fire #22

It’s Sunday and I know that if the repetition started today then the whole week will be repeated, I look at what I made and sure enough my breakfast of eggs and toast changes to a left over massacre of a snack binge from the “night before”, a night so long ago when I cried about Saul. But, no time for tears, I wipe away a forming tear from my tear duct and say, “I’m on a mission to find Saul,and I need answers. He wouldn’t just leave me, not for this long without any sign of communication unless something was wrong” I say to myself.

‘For the 8 weeks that I didn’t notice anything, I’ve had to deal with other issues… like that BOY!’ I sneer to the side “pfffft”. ‘Stupid boy.’

“Wait a second…” flashbacks of the past 8 weeks rush my mind. ‘He was always different… he… was always… DIFFERENT!’ Shook, I stand there and re count so many times when he talked to me. They are all different.

I always tried to get away from him and he always found me. EVERYONE acted the same way but he didn’t… he always reacted to my actions. I cover my mouth with my hand in disbelief and take a seat .

That stupid son of a bitch, who used an orange to fight a goddamn monster, the same boy who hasn’t stopped pestering me about meeting him after school…. could he? I’ve caught him looking at me a few times, almost wishing I’d somehow recognize who he is, but…. I can’t help but feel freaked out about a guy who just looks at me that way. Is he after revenge? For what? Not recognizing him…? Nah. And then he wants me to meet him after school?

‘That feeling!’

I look through my clues and write it down. Quickly, I hide my paperwork and place it in a secret place. That feeling of being watched again. Coming back to my kitchen table, I get another coffee and think.

‘I might be judging just a little too harshly, I recognize that, but let’s be real. A magic infused dude pops out of nowhere, just in time to fight a horrible monster, and then a family member disappears; it doesn’t sound like a coincidence to me,… it must be connected somehow, it has to be. Gosh, after so many weeks of him asking me to meet him maybe he was the connection to Saul that I needed all along!’ Hope begins to arise in my heart.

“No.”

‘Stop it.’

“Don’t get your hopes too high.” I tell myself.

‘For all I know, what this guy wants might have nothing to do with Saul leaving. I need to be smart about this. We need to meet in a public place, with close police surveillance. I have never forgotten who I am, and what I potentially mean to other people who might recognize me. The last thing I need is for a ransom to be asked for and because I have no one right now, it wouldn’t get paid.’ I begin to sit once again at my table and think, ‘Should I take that risk?’

“Is that right?” a male voice from the window says.

I turn around so fast I feel like I almost gave myself whiplash, but there is no one there. I run to the window, open it and look around and yell “Who ever you are, leave me alone! I will find out who you are!!” angered and annoyed I yell.

I look at my neighbors and they stare. I know I’m not crazy. I know that I need to be careful. Part of me is scared to holy hell that I feel like I want to go back with my aunt and uncle because at least there I would know what to expect. I force a laugh, “No, what you know is how bad it was. What I know is that even alone and here,” I take a deep breath, “I am better than I was before” I reassure myself.

‘For my inner peace,…’ I place my right hand over my heart, ‘for my state of mind,…’ I place my other hand over the first, ‘…and to cross off all possibilities; Yes, I should take the risk.’ I whisper “Saul wouldn’t stop looking for me, and I can’t stop looking for my dad,…”

Shocked I think ‘My Dad? I never realized how much I cared about Saul.’ I tear up.

I have a viable solution, I’ll meet Michael next Monday after school. That will give me time to search and prep the local where we will meet and he will talk to me about whatever it is he needs to talk to me about. All right, its time for me to get ready. A night out, here I come!

Monday the next day.

I know what route I have to take to avoid the people who I now know not to talk to. The repercussions of those actions I’ve already lived through once.

From Above.

‘There she is! I’d say right on time, but you were never one to be poignant, just one to get there when needed most.’ He observes her, she avoids contacting person #1, and dodges #2, accepted the invite for next Monday (hehehehe looks like I got her) from person #3, and SHE MADE IT to period 1. ‘Looks like she learned from her past mistakes, her training is going well. I just hope she’s the right one. I don’t need another useless psychic.’

An announcement as Period 1 settles down:

Reminder to all students to walk in pairs as there have been reports on an unidentifiable adult wearing a disguise. Some students and parents have yet to respond to some missing reports. Please be advised to walk in pairs everyday and do not, under any circumstances, go anywhere alone. Including while on campus. Thank you.

Holder of Fire #21

I wake up smacking my alarm clock. “Damn, that was different.” It’s Sunday.

Saul always told me that when my life was ready to have purpose and meaning, all of what my life actually was would come to the light. He would tell me this every time I had a nightmare about my family. It always made me feel better. I smile. ‘I’m so grateful to be where I am now. I can’t just throw this opportunity away. Saul convinced me to come back to my birthplace, where my family lived before everything went bad. If Saul left, it must have been to protect me from them. So, I have to do my part now. Determined I get out of bed and follow my morning routine.

On the bus I smell coffee, it makes my mouth water. I never realized how much I relied on Saul for my morning routine. Somberly I think, ‘Oh Saul,…’ my hands tighten, ‘I hope you are all right wherever you are.’ A tear swells in my eye, I sniff it away.

From the moment I stepped off the bus today I felt awry. Like I needed to be careful. I felt so uneasy everyone made me nervous. I had to go out and get some personal emergency supplies. I needed easy to make food, Saul never got to teaching me how to cook. I needed to make sure that certain accounts were taken care of, basically following protocol. A protocol he taught me when we first got away. I think being in this situation has me on edge and maybe that’s why I feel that someone is following me. Considering they found me once before…. I arrive to my destination and begin to shop.

I finish getting everything, I get some comfort items to distract me. So few times he has allowed me to distract myself by wanting to redecorate my room or remodel some space. He said that it was ok to do it, so long as I didn’t feel or think about how I was alone. He always warned me that feeling alone is how the darkness grows. I head inside my house and start to organize the decorations I bought.

But….

Tears flowing down my face as I hold up two frames. ‘I feel so alone! Oh Saul! I really wish you were here with me, I desperately need to be with someone. Anyone! I wish I had company….’ with tears running down my face and breaking down a few times, I finally finish the night decorating my room and general living area. I mix granola, yogurt and half an opened can of peaches as my snack/lunch. My eyes are tired of crying, my lungs just want to breath normally, i take a spoonful of my snack and the crunchy sweet yogurt just brightens my whole day. I forget my eyes, lungs,  and heartache and go to town on the snack. Feeling blissful I do my homework as I eat, finishing that I take a bubble bath with some music playing, got on the internet to watch some videos and went to sleep.

Monday Morning

Fast  Forward

Monday Morning (#11 Since Saul’s Disappearance)

I wake up, pretend that it’s a new day. Deep down my fear grows, I know its not. It’s the same day over and over the same week over and over, just all the same.

For a whole week my school days have been on repetition, I wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, get ready for bed and go to sleep. On the weekend I stay home and study or watch videos as well as chores. My typical normal routine, with a minor and forgivable change, studying was the last thing on my mind. All that being said, I wasn’t sure when or how it happened, but it did. I think back as I put on a robe, it’s been getting colder.

As I head to the kitchen and start to turn things on to make my breakfast, I can’t help but be annoyed. I look out the window as I wait for my coffee, it’s September, and school here starts in August and goes for a full 10 months, what a drag! I much prefer the school district I went to when my parents were alive…., I think somberly, they had 3 months on and 1 month off. Getting used to this schedule change wasn’t supposed to be hard, but without Saul it has been a hell of an adjustment.

It has been 11 repetitions of this same week in September, what should have been the first week in December. If the weather here year-round wasn’t too similar, then maybe I would have noticed sooner. I think to myself ‘If I was in Vermont in what used to be our summer home, I would have absolutely noticed. Normally on the 9th week I’d be stressed for finals or other reasons. Boy did I feel stupid when I first noticed, if I would have just studied like how I was supposed to, I would have…’ DING my food is done.

Once I served my food onto my plate, I start to wash the dishes I used before I eat and think back to how I finally figured it out. Unfortunately, it took me until repetition #8 to realize that things were happening exactly the same. I was going crazy with ideas on how I could figure out, how long had I been stuck repeating the same week?

Luckily, I had marked my calendar like I typically do, so I knew how many weeks had passed by and by finally studying my class notes I was able to see how often I had been taking the same notes over and over again. What was worse is that each set of notes had the same September date, not realizing even then, that I was re-writing the same dates and notes over and over again. I sigh, ‘I just couldn’t study, I just couldn’t concentrate in school’ and think as I sit down to eat.

I look at the data and clues I was able to collect. I have tested the waters with what I can and can’t do the last 3 repetitions. ‘I was lucky that I even noticed, if it wasn’t for being used to a 3 month schedule… but the reason I hadn’t noticed was because…’ I start to eat.